Not the Nine O'Clock News

Sketches: Grand National Skit / Pinball / Helicopter / Alidair Milne / Wimpy Burgers / Non-Diet Pepsi / Car Vandals / The Cost Of A sketch / Dolphin for President / The lesson I learned from Chappaquiddick / Parkinson Meets Parkinson / Maternity Ward / Perfect evening / Lifeboats / The Nancy Boys / Cottage In Wales

Sketches: Airline Terrorists / Film Certification / Space Invaders / Dinner Party / Awards Ceremony (Sofas) / Alabammy Bound / Prestel / Kleptomania / Vegtarian Hunting Season / Stereoids / Rowan Rants On / Milkman / Ford Cortina / Lead Poisoning / Kiss of life / Government Training Film / Hairdressers / School of archaeology / Aeroplane toilet / Arianna Advert / Boxing in Johannesburg / Rowan Apologises / Clint Eastwood / Debating Point

Sketches: Russian Army / FIAT Advert / Postman / Railway Announcement / Stout Life / Talking to daffodils / Crime Figures / Out-of-touch Judge / Train cancellation/Announcer breaks down / Glue Sniffing / Suicide / Loud Reporter / James Burke / American Express / President Tito / I Like Bouncing / Abu Ben Adhem

Sketches: International Darts / Milkman's Note / Beat The Cliché / One-man bus / Gone With The Wind / Superman / Cinema Age Restrictions / Tramp / Time Out Lonely Hearts / Late Abortion / Jean Paul Satre / Shop Assistants / Euthanasia / Thoucht For The Day / Confessional / Gob Of The Month / And all because the lady loves...

Sketches: MGM Skit / Death Of A Princess (Apology To The Saudis) / Prostitute / Thatcher actor / Kosher Chewing Gum / Stamp auction / Train carriage cleaners / Multi-ligual Hotel Sign / News vendors / Remote Control / Gerald The Gorilla / Man In Post Office / Kidnapping / Tarts / Princess Anne And Mark Philips / Domino Theory / Neanderthal man / Instant Pot Meals / Bob Wellings / King Of Rock n Roll / Banging On The Ceiling / Train Drums

Sketches: Guardsmen / Blood bank sign / Morgue / Parkinson with Billy Connolly / Pottery presenter / Hi-Fi Shop / Campari and Soda / Passport Photos / News For The Deaf / Mugging / The Devil: Is He All Bad? / Contagious spots / Origami / Hitchcock Directs The News / Hidden Switch / Janet Street Porter interviews Billy Connolly

Sketches: Confrontation Song / Points Of View / Cannabis / Guinness / Defence Minister / Police station phone call / Metal detector / Restaurant revolutions / Transplant Olympics / Freddie Cosgray / Is smoking safer than crossing the road? / Ayatollah Song / Exam Guide / Police Yob